Blue skies, finally

Today was the first continuously sunny day in more than a week. After being scoured by so much rain, sleet, and more rain, the sky was a brilliant, crisp blue. I decided to be a bad graduate student and skip school (and traffic). (In my defense, I've put in a lot of work this week, gone in early and stayed late, and submitted abstracts and manuscript drafts, so I decided playing hooky was okay.) On my day off, I...

...went to an Xtend Barre class at the decadently late hour of 9 a.m.

...decided to enjoy the sun by going to the park and jogging. I'm not sure where I mustered up the energy, but I managed to run four miles with negative splits, with my slowest mile being 9:28 and my fastest being 9:05. Those are good times for me, especially considering that I never felt like I was going all out.

Evidence of a gorgeous day.

...went on a coffee/hummus date with my husband at a new cafe in town:

The coffee was Panama something-or-other,

and it was amazing.

...borrowed some books from the library, including the new biography of David Foster Wallace.

...did some laundry.

...did not clean my house.

Re: that last one. It's funny how memories that once seemed insignificant - like, why have I remembered it all these years? What was the purpose in hanging onto it? - sometimes take on greater meaning. One such memory is of going to my first best friend's house to play. The place was always a complete disaster area: toys everywhere, sticky countertops, pet fur covering the couches, dust all over the floor. Even as a six-year-old, I noticed the disarray. But it was always so much fun. We let our imaginations run wild building stuff, coloring, moving toys from one room to another, going from inside to outside to inside to outside. Unlike my other friends' moms, she wasn't one to chase after us with broom, dustpan, vacuum cleaner, and annoyed tone. Instead, she was usually reading or writing or cooking or doing something for herself. She seemed to have her own life. I remember feeling really free and relaxed there, knowing that as long as we didn't fight or say/do anything inappropriate, no-one was going to yell at us.

Even with just one kid, it's hard to keep our place clean, and I try far less to do so than I used to. There are legos under pretty much every piece of furniture and Kindergarten artwork on almost every wall. Our ottoman is falling apart, and our couch has a three-inch gash in the cushion. My son's room looks - to me - like a mess, though he assures me that it is actually a house with its own kitchen, bedroom, and art center.

It's not a total pit. It's not dirty. It's just messy and lived-in. Well loved, well used. Nothing like a Pottery Barn ad. I could clean for 18 hours a day and my son could still undo it in a matter of minutes. 

Sometimes I wish it were cleaner (I'm type A: messes of any kind make me at least a little anxious) but then I remember my friends' house and I feel better. That feeling I had when I was there is the feeling I want him to have at home. Freedom to just be a kid and not worry about how an emptied toy box might affect the adult's psyche.

Thursday Three

1. This bar is gluten free, vegan, and amaaaazing:

I woke up late on Tuesday and had to rush to get to my workout class (if you miss it, they charge you $15!!!). I had this bar and some OJ and was pretty much good to go.

What I like about the Bonk Breaker is the texture. It's not as gluey as other energy bars, nor is it as sweet as date-based bars.

2. We finally took down our Christmas tree yesterday. I wrapped up all of the ornaments and placed them in our Christmas decorations bin - the one piece of organization in my entire house.

Every year we get a new glass ornament. This year it was a snazzy red VW hippie bus:

I'm sad to see all the pretty lights and baubles go, but I'm glad I made myself do it. Around here, decorations are liable to stay up for months after the actual holiday.

3. What is up with this whole worst-flu-season-in-10-years thing??? 2/3 of my department are sick. Some of them have the flu and some of them have a stomach bug. Last thing I want is a stomach bug. I have a fear of puking. Like, a real fear. And so I try not to do it. My record for not puking is 13 years - between the time I got the stomach flu in middle school and the time I got food poisoning in grad school. I'd like to break that record.

Resolutions for the new year, and a treadmill workout

Happy 2013! Our New Year's celebration was quiet. We got the little man down to bed at a decent time and then we watched a documentary on Netflix called Deep Water. It's about a weekend sailor who decided to compete in a first-of-its-kind round-the-world sailing competition in the late 1960s. The ending was totally not what I expected; I couldn't believe I'd never heard of this guy before now.

We made it to midnight, but barely. Apparently we were not alone. As I checked Facebook, I saw a lot of "It's only 9 p.m. but I can't stay up any longer and by the way I'm officially old"-type posts. 

Resolutions: Do you have any? Or anything you want to do/change in 2013? My only resolution at this point is to keep up the activities and habits I took up in the last part of 2012:

• Continue going to Xtend Barre classes 4 times a week (I continue to love, love, love this class... Who knew I'd grow so fond of ballet and Pilates?)
• Find my next race. 5K? Half marathon? Trail run? Not sure yet, but I'm hoping that I'll decide on something close to home, and relatively soon.
• Finish up my 30-day vegan challenge! I'm on Day 16 (I think), and so far, so good. My only slip-up was when I ordered a salad at Panera and discovered too late that it had feta cheese on it. My least favorite cheese! Argh. I hate wasting food so I ate it anyway. More on the Vegan Challenge in the next few days.
• And lose a few pounds. I guess that one's new, but I don't want to get too caught up in thinking about it. I'm using the Lose It! app on my iPhone to track my calories and workouts. More on that in the coming weeks, too.

*  *  *

I'm one of those runners who is not too keen on running in supercold weather (and by "supercold," I mean anything less than 30 degrees F - since moving to the South, I've become a winter wimp). I ran on my treadmill instead and made up my own interval workout as I went along. I was pretty happy with it. There was enough variation to keep me from getting too bored. This would be easy to modify based on your own moderate baseline pace:

Easy Does It 60 Minute Workout:

* 5 minutes walking (moderate effort)

* 5 minutes 5.5 mph, 2 minutes walking

* 5 minutes 5.6 mph, 2 minutes walking

*5 minutes 5.7 mph, 2 minutes walking

* 5 minutes 5.8 mph, 2 minutes walking

* 5 minutes 5.9 mph, 2 minutes walking

* 5 minutes 6.0 mph, 2 minutes walking

* 1.5 minutes each of 6.0 down to 5.5 mph (9 minutes total)

* 4 minutes walking

Saturday Six; Vegan Days 3-5

1. My family came into town today. One thing that I've noticed since being in therapy, taking antidepressants, and learning how to set boundaries is that I can now handle having my relatives in my home for extended periods of time (and by "extended," I mean six hours or so, tops). This has not always been the case. Used to be that having them here for even half an hour sent me into a tailspin of anxiety, depression, and dissociation. The most important thing for me is not letting them infiltrate my own space: whereas we used to have them stay in our house, we now ask them to stay in a hotel. Although somewhat inconvenient, it works out so much better for everyone.

Confession: as healthy as that all sounds, I was kind of a mess yesterday. When it comes to my family, panic attacks are my autopilot measure.

2. Another confession: while they are in town, we have plenty of libation on hand. Alcohol does serve its purpose at the holidays. I did not learn this in therapy. 

This is one of my favorite inexpensive wines - mostly because it tastes good, but I also do love the label. :-)

3. One of my students from this past semester sent me a hand-written thank you card. My grades have been in for two weeks and she's already received her updated transcript, so it's not like she was doing this to win favors. I have to give her props. Maybe one day I'll make writing personalized thank-you messages a goal; as it is, I'm happy if we manage to get the water bill in the mail.

4. Paper snowflakes: I love them.

5. Today was Day 5 of the 30 Day Vegan Challenge. So far, so good! 

Breakfast: GF granola cereal with almond milk

Snack: Almond milk (!) latte at the new cafe in town... This is the first time I've been to a local place that offers almond milk

Lunch: GF pasta (Trader Joe's brand, which is pretty good) and sauce with an apple on the side

Snack: Orange and a Larabar

Dinner: Sauerkraut with potatoes, green beans, and mushrooms. Sauerkraut: smells stinky, tastes delish, yay for fermented food.

I'm reminded that this whole vegan thing isn't an issue for me as long as I have access to the food I like/need and a way to cook it. I'm not craving meat or dairy so far. In the long run, I think cheese will be the toughest thing: I do love a good stinky cheese.

6. To offset the calorie count: mat Pilates last night (first time doing a bona-fide Pilates class) and an Xtend Barre class today. After two weeks of being away, I'm sore.

By the numbers

2: number of scoops of ice cream I ate last night (coffee + effervescent cherry sorbet)

4: number of additional ice cream samples the lady behind the counter "made" me try (dark chocolate peppermint, sweet potato and marshmallow, bourbon maple, and something with beer). I roughed it out and licked those sample spoons clean.

9: miles ran/jogged this weekend

3: fitness class torture-fests I took part in last week

1: completed application submitted

1.5: glasses of wine consumed today

5: clementine oranges going in my lunch bag for tomorrow

3: average number of times I run the dryer before my husband gets annoyed and folds the clothes himself

1: free cup of coffee I'm getting tomorrow by bringing in my empty coffee bag

4: days until my next trip

12: days I'm going to be away from home (booooo)

1: cheap snow globe that was dropped and shattered over the weekend

1000000: bits of smashed snow globe glass

7: gluten-free pancakes eaten by five-year-old this morning

Best news of the week so far

Not related to the best news of the week so far, BUT: I'm feeling better about the marathon. First of all, I FINISHED A MARATHON. So right there I should feel pretty good. Moreover, I felt great for most of it and my pace - for most of it - was consistent. Also, the Space Coast Marathon has fabulous medals.

This is not to say that I am totally pleased with how everything went, but at least now I'm not borderline despondent. I'm already thinking about the next marathon and what I can do to avoid the mistakes I made this time around.

The plan from here:

• Lots of Xtend Barre for the next couple of weeks. I went to a class tonight and was surprised that I could still plie, given how sore my quads have been (yesterday I could barely walk on anything but a flat surface; I nearly took a header stepping off a curb)
• Run tomorrow and/or Friday - short runs of ~3-4 miles
• Sunday: Longer run of 6ish miles
• Next week: start ramping into post-marathon training
• End of December/beginning of January: start training for next marathon (likely one at the end of March)

Does anyone know of a good training plan for after a marathon? I want to give myself time to recover from the 26.2, but I also want to maintain my fitness level. In particular, I want to be able to continue doing long runs that are between 10 and 16 miles.

*  *  *  *

Best news of the week so far: I found out that my town offers a shuttle to and from the city. I tried it out yesterday, and it felt like heaven! Comfy seats on a tour-type bus, CNN on the bus televisions, electrical outlets for plugging in my computer, and the best thing: I didn't have to deal with the traffic. I just sat there in my plush chair, drank my coffee, and started a report I've been meaning to get to. The ride back in the evening was much the same.

Commuting has been an enormous stressor for me. Traffic around here is truly awful. I've lived in the Bay area, which is notorious for its traffic, but I honestly think it's worse here. At least twice a week I end up stuck behind an accident, usually involving one person rear-ending another right in the middle of the highway. Even without accidents, there's the normal rush hour slowdown and the folks who insist on going 20 miles under the speed limit in the middle lanes. Aside from the focus, grit, and patience it takes to deal with driving, the other thing that wears me out about commuting is that it is a daily two-hour time sink. I try to use the drive as a time to plan out my day and listen to music, but there are so many other things I'd rather be doing with those hours. At least on the bus, I'd have time to get a few things done, read some books, catch up with the news...

The price of the commuter bus is a little steep at $4 one way. I think the way to really take advantage of this would be to buy a ticket packet, which is offered at a discount, and ride the shuttle on a regular basis. In the long term, I'm pretty sure we'd save money on gas, car repairs, and parking. 

Running as a way to mitigate depression and anxiety?

I've been away - not at the loony bin (though sometimes it's certainly a distinct possibility), but at a professional conference. Actually, wait. This professional conference IS like a loony bin, except that few of the people there actually recognize they have issues and the majority of them don't see psychiatrists. Same issues, less recognition. Always interesting.

Anyway, so first I was preparing for this conference (in the form of putting together a talk, which took a ridiculous amount of time and which put a spotlight on my poor graphic design/PowerPoint skills), and then I was at the conference, and then I was drinking and eating and giving my talk and reuiniting with people I hadn't seen in a while. And drinking more. 

Very little running was involved, unfortunately. I mean, I DID run, but they were relatively short workouts on the hotel treadmill. I should have run 18 miles on Sunday and it just didn't happen. Good thing I am in taper mode, since the marathon is in only 2.5 weeks away. I'm thinking of doing 18 miles this Sunday even though I suppose Hal Higdon would not approve. But would it really pose that much of a problem? I have two weeks after that to rest.

Speaking of running...

The last conference I went to was last June, and for whatever reason, it left me reeling and depressed. I don't know whether it was the stress of traveling, dealing with huge crowds of people, being away from my family, or what, but all of a sudden I went from feeling really stable (for the previous 4-5 months) to hitting bottom again. The situation was not good. At one point I wondered whether I might need to check myself into a hospital. The trigger seemed to be this academic conference experience. Thus, I was concerned that this very recent conference - which involved just as many people, almost as much traveling, and a strong dose of stress - might send me reeling down the same path.

Thankfully, it did not. I've been trying to figure out what the difference was between now and last June.

Things that are the same: I'm still taking an antidepressant, same dose. I'm still seeing my therapist every other week or so (actually less these days). Actually, if anything, the summer conference should have been less stressful: I wasn't teaching any classes at that point. I had to present at both meetings.

So what is different? The only major difference is that I'm now training for a marathon and attending butt-kicking barre classes on a regular basis. So could the extra exercise be at the root of this newfound stability (relatively speaking)? In a way, it seems counterintuitive. Marathon training itself takes a lot of dedication and a certain amount of sacrifice. It cuts into work time, family time, and rest time. Then add to that the barre workouts - if I do them 4 times a week, that's another 6 hours where I'm not really attending to my responsibilities. And yes, on a day-to-day basis, it does feel like a lot. I do feel the strain.

On the other hand, my immersion in these activities means that:

(1) I have more energy during the day and I sleep better at night.

(2) I have less time to worry/stress, because when I'm working out I'm very focused on the task at hand.

(3) I'm forced to make transitions more quickly. For instance, even if my mind WANTS to stay in work mode all evening, when I get to barre class, it simply can't. There's not enough energy for that.

(4) I have a better social life. I'm opening up more to RF, getting to know her friends, and starting to get to know the people at Xtend Barre.

Ultimately, I keep myself so occupied that I do not leave as much room for ruminating, worrying, planning, obsessing. I think that's a big part of it. Maybe I've been underestimating the positive long-term effects of exercise on my mental state. Maybe it's kind of like the antidepressants themselves: one pill here and there won't make much long-term difference; you have to take them every day if you want them to work, and they don't work right away. If you miss a day, it won't hurt you much so long as you get back on track the following day. Perhaps the influence of exercise on the brain is similar: the long-term consistency is key.

Embracing the Mom Jeans

Tonight, after years of deluding myself into thinking that I can make low-rise jeans work, I finally gave up and bought what I suppose some people would call "Mom Jeans."

Yes. I did. Because I just can't deal with the muffin top anymore. More than that, I can't deal with the possibility of anyone else asking me whether I am pregnant. (As it turns out, that question really bothered me. I didn't think so at the time, but not a day has gone by since that I haven't looked at myself more critically in the mirror.)

I can't remember when it was that low-rise jeans became the go-to jean fit (seven years ago? More?) but let's face the fact that a good portion of the population, in shape or otherwise, can't really make these work. At least, not if they're buying cheap, mass-produced department-store brands like I do.

Here's the thing. I'm in the best shape ever, for me. I feel strong. I can see muscles in my arms now, and muscles in my legs that I didn't know existed before I started marathon training and ballet/Pilates. In Xtend Barre class, I can plie, releve, and squeeze a ball between my upper thighs multiple times without thinking twice about it (three months ago, that move almost made me collapse in a sweaty, shaking heap). Plank, times two? No problem. 20 mile run? Not easy, sort of painful, but I can do it.

Yet I have hips. I have stomach flab. I have extra skin that will never go away unless I get plastic surgery, which I would never do because even if I HAD the money, which I do not, I'd much rather pay for a fancy tropical vacation than go under a knife. No question.

But do I really want my I'll-never-leave-you muffin top doing all the representing? No thank you.

I hesitated to try on the dreaded "mom jeans," and even when I had them on I was sort of cringing at first... But then I looked in the dressing room mirror and was like, HEY! Look at that! I can work this cut. No fleshy waterfall, no pseudo-baby bump. No sucking in my gut. Butt looks fine. Do I sort of look like I belong in a JC Penny ad? Kind of. But I'd rather my muffin top can hang out behind the zipper instead of over my waistband.

Also, Public Service Announcement: be warned that walking into the women's wear section of Target this fall/winter is like walking back into 1989-1992. I SWEAR I wore some of the exact same bulky/long sweaters in 7th grade.

Exhibit A

Sweater skirt

I also saw sweater pants, but I can't find them on the Target website. Sad.

Tuesday Four (I couldn't think of a fifth)

1. I would like a vacation. Something involving skiing, a beach (not sure it's possible to have both, but that's what I'd like), a massage (or several), good but unpretentious food, sleeping in under a light down comforter, and no work. This will not happen unless a fairy godmother or Oprah ("YOU get a car and YOU get a car and YOU get a car...!") steps in.

2. I'm feeling low. Hopefully it's because a) I'm tired from the long run this past weekend, b) I have PMS, and/or c) I've been too busy for my own good, and not because depression is sneaking its way back in. I'm keeping my guard up, just in case. I suspect some of it has to do with the shorter days. I LOVE summer, when daylight lasts past 8 p.m. I feel suffocated when it gets dark at 5 or 6 p.m.

3. Did I mention that I would like a vacation?

Oprah? Can you hear me?

(Anyone else with me on this?)

4. Ever since I started doing Xtend Barre, I find myself releve-ing and plie-ing when no-one is looking. And pointing my toes.

Scattered

This week has gone by ridiculously, ridiculously fast.

Workout rundown:

Sunday - 18 miler (see previous post)

Monday - Day off

Tuesday - 5 miles in the morning, Xtend Barre in evening

Wednesday - Unintentional day off

Thursday - 5 miles in the morning, Xtend Barre in evening (kicked my butt)

Planned workouts:

Friday: 3-4 miles

Saturday: 4 miles

Sunday: 20 miles (!!!) - Yup, going to go for it. My legs feel fine.

In other news, I have been incredibly flaky/forgetful lately, which I didn't quite understand until I took a mental step back to assess what I've been doing. There's just so much going on. Usually I am on the go from the moment I wake up (~5:15 a.m.) to the time I go to bed.

Examples of recent flakiness:

-Forgot psychiatry appointment. For the second time. She was not amused.
-Forgot to put away lab equipment that really needed to be put away promptly. Luckily, we were able to resuscitate it.
-Scheduled birthday party the night before my husband's 7 a.m. marathon (the one that is 2.5 hours away...)
-Forgot to submit various important emails/pieces of paperwork
-Forgot about office hours

I try hard to be conscientious and meet my obligations, but my brain appears to have reached full capacity here. What space I have, I devote to the most important stuff - family, interesting research and teaching, running. Not so much to the things that at this point seem kind of irritating and in the way. Like my meetings with my psychiatrist, who is a nice woman with meager therapy skills and who I just wish would give me my prescription without me having to come in once a month even when I feel completely fine.

Clearly I need to make more lists or something. Except then I would lose them, so really, what is the point.

Friday Five: Prepping for Italy edition!

1. I'm going to Italy tomorrow! I'll be there for a week, participating in a conference/workshop a couple hours north of Rome. I'm nervous about traveling, not knowing the language (though I can count from zero to twenty in Italian!), and the potential for coming across as a total dunce at this workshop, but mostly I'm just excited. September in Italy is supposed to be beautiful, and made all the more beautiful by Italian wine and Italian coffee.

2. This week's mileage:

Sunday: 15 miles (see previous post)

Tuesday: 5 miles

Wednesday: Xtend Barre class

Thursday: 4 miles

Friday (today!): 13 miles! I stayed home, packed, and went on the 13-miler with my husband. The weather was sunny and cool, and my legs felt good for most of it. I'm bringing my running attire to Italy and will go out for a jog if I have time. But if not, at least I completed this week's long run, and hopefully I can get right back into the swing of my marathon-prep schedule when I return.

I'm not sure I've ever run 37 miles in less than 6 days before!

3. I went shopping today for travel snacks, and I found THESE. At TARGET! 

Nutritionally-complete (well, mostly), gluten-free, vegan travel snacks. I never thought I'd see the day. True, I don't like the amount of packaging these require, but there's some measure of comfort in knowing that even though I'll be spending a total of >15 hours in flying metal sardine cans, at least I'll have snacks that I can eat and that taste good.

4. I hate packing. I do it a lot and it never gets any easier. I'm trying to stuff everything into a backpack and a small suitcase. Should be totally doable, but somehow I'm struggling.

5. I am grateful for:

-awesome family

-awesome friends

-awesome therapy guy

-awesome advisor

-health - especially that I am healthy enough to run

-pharmaceuticals that work, and that I have been feeling like a normal, relatively happy person lately (knock on wood)

-the ability to grow and to gain new insights, even from familiar experiences

-wine

-hummus

-travel opportunities

-blogs (I love reading blogs! My guilty pleasure.)

-Blue jeans

-New episodes of Guiliana and Bill on Netflix

Running: Less Quantity, More Quality?

I've been running less lately, mainly because I've been going to the Xtend Barre class 3-4 times per week. It's an intense, whole-body workout that leaves me feeling completely totaled by the time it ends. But I like that - I feel disappointed if my muscles aren't screaming at me, at least a little, as I walk back to my car.

This past week I ran on the treadmill for several miles and then outside with my group on Tuesday and Thursday mornings (~4 miles each day). Overall, my mileage was relatively low. But my running buddy told me that I seem to have sped up over the summer. "Did you notice that we were doing ~9 minute miles?" she asked, pointing to her GPS-supported watch. That's a pace that I generally find challenging. Based on how I was feeling, I was thinking we were going more at 10 minutes per mile. 

Between time with my family, school/work, traveling, and my &#*% commute, my time is pretty limited. If I run three times a week for an hour, and take three classes, that's six hours away from my family, school, and relaxing. And that's not counting the time it takes to drive to class or to our group meeting place. I could cut down on Xtend Barre, but after only 2.5 weeks, I can already see a huge improvement in my flexibility, balance, coordination, and strength - all things that can benefit my running. So I want to continue with that for the time being.

I'm thinking the trick is to cut down on the easy runs and aim for really high-quality running workouts: intervals, tempo runs, maybe one long run on the weekend (more on that soon... I'm thinking of running a marathon, so that long run will be vital). Combined with Xtend Barre and rest days, I'm hoping I'll be able to maintain (and hopefully improve) the quality of my running.

I've been enjoying exercise so much lately - the challenge, the way it makes me feel, the focus it requires. 

Where I would like to be running right about now...

Friday Five

1. There was a big accident on the highway this afternoon (I don't think anyone was seriously hurt, but the cars were in a really bad location near the median). I sat in traffic for about an hour, ate the cashews that my husband had purchased for this type of situation (so that I'm not hangry when I finally get home), listened to music, and tried to convince myself that my commute counts as "me time."

2. Family night: We went out to dinner at Whole Foods. There are few, if any, eateries near my home that gladly accommodate gluten free, vegan diets. But Whole Foods does. My husband filled up at the buffet, my son selected grapes, cheese, and a mini cupcake, and I had some sort of rice/bean patty concoction (which was okay - not fantastic, but healthy at any rate).

While there, I discovered that Whole Foods has a wine bar. In the store! Who knew? And unlike most other places around here on Friday evenings, there were seats available. I'm taking note of this: it's going to be a part of our next date night.

3. I spent a really really long time picking out a dessert for myself and finally selected Udi's gluten-free Snickerdoodle cookies. Got home, ripped open the package... and realized that they contain butter and eggs. Aaaargh. So I settled for one of these instead:

They're a little crunchier than most bars, but I like that - I really can't stand anything that even remotely resembles the texture of a Power Bar. I need some snap, some resistance. My favorite bars are Zing Bars. I haven't been able to find them around here.

4. I'm still loving the Xtend Barre class, and it is still kicking my butt. I love that. It's really, really hard - to the point where my legs shake and I'm on the verge of collapsing (but in a good way). The classes are normally pretty expensive ($20 each!) but I paid for 16 of them on the cheap through Groupon and Living Social deals. I've already used 6 of the classes. My flexibility and balance have moderately improved, and I think my core muscles are getting stronger. I'm thinking about signing up for unlimited classes once my coupon runs out, but that requires a 6-month contract, $150 per month. Yeesh. For us, that's steep. Maybe I'll see if the owner would be willing to cut me some sort of additional deal...

5. Running plans for the weekend: 4-5 miles tomorrow, 3-4 miles Sunday. On Tuesday, my running group is finally re-convening after several weeks off. I'm looking forward to that. These girls push me in a way that I do not push myself. I've missed running with them.

Plié, run, dinner, dessert

Yesterday: 1 hour barre class, four mile run

Today: 1 hour barre class (I think she was trying to kill us - which I LOVED), three mile run at park followed by chasing after my scooter-riding son.

Working out this much makes me really tired, but in a good way. I had just enough energy this weekend to focus on family, eating, sleeping, writing, and watching television, which means that my brain didn't have enough juice to chase its own tail.

Dinner tonight: Hodge-podge of roasted veg (zucchini, tomatoes, sweet potato, regular potatoes, portobello mushrooms, and garlic) + kale (Trader Joe's frozen) + chickpeas marinated in lemon juice, lemon zest, salt, and pepper

Sidenote: This? From Trader Joe's? Is great. Just pop out a few cubes of garlic, add them to the pan with a little oil, voila. No need to chop garlic if you're short on time.

Planned dessert: Frozen grapes and blueberries. Like candy, but with more phytochemicals.

Confession: My husband, completely against my wishes of course, purchased more chocolate crack cereal. So there is a slight possibility that I may somehow try to work it into dessert. And breakfast tomorrow. And my mid-morning snack...

Planned evening activities: Eating said dessert, drinking a glass of wine, and indulging in an episode of Breaking Bad, which is quickly becoming an obsession for me and my husband.

Tomorrow: I need to be on the road by 6:45 a.m. I have little to complain about in my life other than this commute.

I truly hope this week is a good one for you.

Exhaustion, and week in review

I am just plain tuckered out! I decided to run last night, do a fitness class this morning, and then run again right after the class. Now I want to sleep the afternoon away (which... with a five-year-old? Is a total pipe dream) and eat.

*   *   *
Things about last week that stand out:

• My son's first day of Kindergarten! I'm so proud of him and hope that this year will be a wonderful experience.
• Going to, and making a sincere effort to keep up with, a new barre class (even though I am, physically speaking, the anti-ballerina)
• Getting my fall schedule figured out
• Beautiful weather with some much-needed rain mixed in
• Keeping up with my goal to drink ~64 ounces of water every day
• Cooking something new (chickpea patties - yum)
• Mood: Pretty upbeat overall

Things I'm looking forward to:

• Date night with my husband
• My two closest friends from school finally returning from their looooong summer field seasons in exotic areas of the world (Iceland and New Zealand) 
• Another relatively relaxing, work-free day tomorrow

Things I'm grateful for:

• My sweet, smart, energetic, creative, affectionate little boy 
• My laid-back husband, who doesn't always understand me but unconditionally accepts me
• The best, most supportive, most energetic dissertation advisor ever - we butt heads sometimes, but I can't imagine a better mentor
• Time for relaxation
• Amazing opportunities - school, travel, free public education for my child, good health, employment
• The capacity, freedom, and opportunity to make changes, and people who are willing to help me as I strive to do so

I like this: "Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world." - John Milton

What about you? What are you grateful for?

Five things (cherries, Kindergarten, television shows about drugs, etc.)

• I am in love with fresh summer cherries. Rainier cherries are my favorite but really, any decently-priced ones will do.
• Also I am in love with the show Breaking Bad (four or five complete seasons on streaming Netflix). It's about two guys who make crystal meth, and it's a lot funnier and more riveting than it sounds.
• I'm going back for more Xtend Barre tomorrow. I'm not as sore as I thought I'd be, and I feel really good about myself even though I can't actually see any results yet, of course. My goal is to do that followed by a 45-minute run. I was supposed to do the run today but lack of self-discipline kicked in. So I'll double up tomorrow.
• My son has his half-day Kindergarten orientation tomorrow! AAAAAAAHHHH! I feel like we (me, husband, son) are all very unprepared, and none of us seems to believe it's actually happening, but here goes...
• I sound more upbeat here than I actually feel. 

Xtend Barre: I'm not going to be able to move tomorrow

This evening I went to my first fitness class in... I don't know. Five years? Six? More? Fitness classes aren't usually my thing.

I've realized for a while now, however, that a) when it comes to running, my body has a lot of muscle memory, meaning that even when I do longer or faster runs, I don't get as much out of it (physically, I mean) as I used to and b) I need to do something that will improve my strength, flexibility, and muscle tone.

You know those runners with the 12-pack abs and sculptured arms?

That is not me. I look like someone who runs a few miles and then sneaks off to the donut shop to refuel with a box of Munchkins (I don't, but if they were gluten free, it would be tempting).

So anyway, Groupon recently had a deal for this combo ballet/pilates/torture workout called Xtend Barre. It sounds very pretty and when you look at the Xtend Barre website, it also looks very pretty. I pictured myself pointing my toes, doing some plies, and maybe jete-ing across the studio (very unrealistic; see post from a few days ago), my muscles gently rippling beneath my skin.

Reality check: This workout was hard. About halfway through, I was sweating buckets and my legs were shaking so badly that I thought I might collapse into a soggy heap next to the barre and then puke on the floor. This particular fitness class would be excellent preparation for boot camp.

At the same time, I really enjoyed it and could immediately tell that I'd gotten something out of it. I haven't worked my muscles this way in ages.

I have five more discounted classes thanks to my Groupon code, and I'm looking forward to them... sort of. I'll schedule my next session just as soon as I can walk again.